Jude Jennison speaks: providing emotional support risks rejection
Jude Jennison speaks: how do you respond to emotion in others? Would you walk on by or would you reach out and offer support? When we offer support, we make ourselves vulnerable and risk rejection. Are you willing to risk rejection for the sake of the humanity of others?
Hi Jude,
Great video, very sorry to hear about your horse. I am definitely the type to reach out to people who are emotional in public as I know that I would appreciate the same kind of outreach if I was feeling sad, kindness from strangers is very uplifting as they have no family/friend connection or vested interest in your wellbeing but are instead choosing to acknowledge that we are all human and connect at that base level.
I do think the lack of people reaching out says more about the context – people have become conditioned to work in jobs where they do not show the personal side of themselves and in their mind those jobs begin on the journey in when they feel an expectation that they have to conform to societal rules.
Anyway, hope you and the team are doing OK, I think about your place all the time – it’s a very positive memory to use when I’m having a rough day.
Cheers,
Matt
Thanks Matt for commenting. You are right, it’s often contextual and the fact that nobody in public can reach out speaks volumes about our cultural ability to be ok with emotion. It’s why I do the work I do. It’s so important to see each other as human beings. At work, on a train, wherever we are.
Jude of course I would have reached out if I’d been there, as I did via the message I sent when I heard about Opus. So sorry to hear about how and when you heard, and sorry for those around you who were unable to connect with you at such a profoundly human level. What does that say about how disconnected from our emotions we become when we put our suits on and suppress our most basic human qualities? Thank you for sharing your vulnerability and for your courage in your work Jude you are an amazing woman, Debx
Thanks Deb. What was interesting was how uncomfortable people were around me for the rest of the journey so there was a desire to connect but my guess is fear holds people back.
Hi Jude,
So very sorry to hear about your horse. I know how much you love those gorgeous creatures so to lose one must be devastating.
Like Matt, I would would definitely reach out to stranger who was visibly upset. I know a lot of people would feel uncomfortable doing so but for me it would be my natural reaction. As Matt said in the previous comment, I would hope someone would do the same for me if ever I was in that situation. Really interesting point to raise…wonder what others would do.
Thanks Paul. It is devastating and also part of the reality of caring for animals that their lifespan is shorter.
I did the video because when I spoke to other people, many of them said fear of not knowing how to connect with a stranger prevented them from doing so. I wanted to raise awareness of the importance of our humanity, not just with people we know but with people around us. We know it happens en masse when there are major disasters but that’s because everyone is reaching out so there is safety in numbers. On a 1-2-1 basis, the risk of rejection and getting it wrong is so much greater.
Jude, I would have reached out… but I would have been scared initially, fearful about overreaching, interfering. My belief is that I would have overcome that initial feeling and reached out a hand, said something. I carry a clean white handkerchief, so I may have offered that, maybe suggested I get you a coffee. I don’t know, something.
I know how important it is for us to connect with one another. Something like this is an opportunity to offer comfort, to connect. I would take the opportunity.
I am so very sorry about your horse. It must be so hard.
Blessings.
Thanks Nicholas for your honesty. I love your take that this is an opportunity to connect and to pay attention to that in the course of our busy daily lives. Thanks for your insights and for caring about our (my) humanity.